Find me
by musicnoteships
Summary: Mikan has scars that no one will see. And those that are new. Certain things happen that make her worse. That leads in her leaving home. Until Hotaru finds her. But will Natsume ever apologize for what past pain he caused Mikan? Warning some things maybe be T.


Getting thrown around.

Here and there.

Nothing ever changed.

They never change.

The pain.

The permanent scars, no one will see. Cause they are never seen. No one ever acknowledges pain or emotion. Sometimes I wish they could understand.

"You're just a creep." those lines pierced by heart that day. But it didn't stop there. The taunts got more painful to deal with. Things got physical. I was never free.

Mikan walked to her bathroom she looked at her self. Her nose bleeding, black eye. Her eyes hurt from all the crying. She looked at her a razor. she took the razor and reluctantly she cut in her skin. Blood coming out except she felt nothing. It felt good. She felt at peace. But one cut was not enough. She did more to the point that all over the sink was blood. Mikan dropped the razor. Realizing what she had been doing. Pain was not what she felt. Satisfaction the feeling was very well known to her at that moment. Cleaning her arm and wrapping toilet paper on it. Securing it with tape. She never left her room that day. Her parents were to busy to notice.

She didn't go to school the next day. Her room was locked when her mother tried to get in. Once her mother managed to get in. Mikan's room was a mess. Clothes everywhere. Blood on the walls. The words read. 'creep.' Her mother rushed to her bathroom. No trace of Mikan was there. Except for a note. Addressed to her parents.

 _Mom and Dad,_

 _The pain was unbearable._

 _I'm sorry if you're mad..But I..._

 _Couldn't take it anymore._

 _If you are reading this I love you , even though my mind is so tainted._

 _I hope that life will be going well for you once I am gone._

 _Know that it wasn't your fault. but it was simply mine. For existing._

 _-Mikan Sakura_

Tears run down the women's face. And hurriedly called her husband. Rumors spread, people talked about her committing suicide. Others say she ran away. Some just did not care. One in particular was was wondering why she hadn't been to school. The news ran through the school. Hotaru hearing the news rushed over to Mikan's house. her parent's were home. "Hotaru..." Mikan's Mother said. "...she's not here." Hotaru's worry got worse. "Mrs. Sakura it's ok. I will find her." Hoatru was determined to find Mikan and bring her home. It's the least she could after the pain she caused for Mikan.

 _They taunted her. Wishing she would just die. Calling her a slut and she slept around. And all of the insults you could think of. Mikan hurt but knowing she would have Ruka comfort her. After the taunting ended. Mikan ran outside to find Ruka. She found him , but kissing Hotaru. Mikan's eyes widened. Hotaru noticing that Mikan was there , pushed Ruka off. "Mikan.." Ruka weakly said. The tears formed in her eyes. "I know you resented me. And this showed me, that you never loved me. Not like how I have loved you." tears were running down her face. Ruka tried to standing up and walked to Mikan putting his hand on her shoulder. "Mikan I..I'm sorry.." Ruka looked down. His hair covering his face. Mikan looked at him. "No you're not sorry. You're just like Natsume, and all of them. Guessing I assumed wrong again." Mikan slapped his hand off. Ruka looked at Mikan's teary face before she fleed._

 _Ruka hated getting compared to Natsume. They used to be good friends before he just suddenly stopped talking to him. And chose girls over their friendship. But while this who ordeal happened to take place. Natsume heard everything. Natsume scoffed to him self. 'Even Ruka went that low.' Natsume walked back into the building._

Mikan was at a Park. One she loved going to. She wished she was still was child.. Still Naive to the evil things in this world. Before all the bullying, taunting, and resentment from others. It was cold October. Luckily she wore a sweater. Hiding all the cut scars. She smiled at the sunset. And how peaceful nature was. Mikan took out her phone and took a picture. And posted it to her account. An account no one knew about. A place where she could take pictures and post them and get feed back. She posted it. the photo of being the sky with the clouds scattered across the sky. She called it. 'the cloudy scatter.' Mikan sighed. She was free. But not quite. She needed to leave this town. Mikan called her online Sumire. To whom she had been talking to for a couple years. "Hey Sumire can I ask you a favor?" Mikan spoke into the phone. "and what would that be?" a feminine voice spoke back. "can you come pick me up at y favorite park? I left home and need a place to stay." Mikan's voice lingered through the park. "Yeah I can..But why did you leave home?" the voice sounding concerned. "I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't really want to talk about it..I'll tell you once you pick me up." Mikan trying hard to not to cry. "Ok. I'll be there in about fifteen minutes. bye." Sumire hung up. Mikan shoved her phone into her pocket and sat on the swing.


End file.
